Addictions
by AlissonDarling
Summary: There are things we do that we know are wrong but sometime we don't care. His take on immortality is cynical and negative. He's changed a lot from the Alec that had a pulse. He accepted his lot in life and gave in to his vices. His life was a pattern that suited him just fine. Then, the tables turned. Imagine having your whole take on life swept out from under you. (Includes OC)
1. No burn involved

**A kind of change that doesn't involve burning.**

One lifetime could be considered enough time to experience what life has to offer. If you're particularly picky, two lifetimes should do the job. Living for over a millennium, on the other hand, becomes dreary and mostly a chore. Imagine seeing and experiencing more than ten generations have. To see the world change and evolve is new and exciting but after a few centuries the advances seem foolish and the pattern of evolution is predictable. The world changes whilst you are still the same. Forever young. To the ultimate fantasy for those who do not experience it. Humans dream of immortality in perpetual youth and hope that by some chance it may happen to them. They say that they would spend their whole existence learning, observing and evolving beyond what their human years would have allowed them. The say they would travel the world and learn all its languages and cultures, maybe even find God. They think of enlightenment as their gateway to happiness.

That is not what enlightenment is.

Enlightenment is, in my experience, the gateway to apathy. I envy them, the humans. They die, and this makes their time more precious than anything in the world. They live so fast and careless, mainly because they only have such little time on this earth. They certainly expire fast. Because of their limited time, they feel more strongly than we do. Everything to them is urgent and potentially life changing. The ability to feel is the main driving force behind every one of their actions. They feel true love and true grief, true fear and true hate. They have no time to waste on debating the nature of their feelings they simply feel. We feel nothing. We are empty shells of who we used to be. To live in a perpetual state of alertness, where there is no sleep, no recognition of temperature, no feeling of the elements on our skin and worst of all no change. The only things we feel are primal; hunger, physical release, our position of the food chain and anger. With time, these disappear as well along with our humanity.

I have been eighteen since the year 800 A.D. I have not changed in over a millennium. The world around me has changed, yet I stayed the same, physically of course. I have aged though. My mind has aged. My ego has aged. My desires have aged and died down, just like the person I used to be has aged and died. I am now too old for the world around me. Even the frustration of being older than dirt yet still perceived as a child by others has died. I just don't care anymore. I have reached a level of apathy that could put a monk to shame. And then the most unexpected thing happened to me. When I was five centuries old I went through a midlife crisis that to this day has left some pretty obvious marks in my behavior.

I blame Corin for my midlife crisis. She came into the guard with the stories of a nomad who has enjoyed the first years of being a newborn. She was turned in a different time and got to explore the decadence of her era. I was human in a deeply catholic society and a newborn in the still and political world of the Volturi. I was a difficult newborn but never got to experience the kind of sin that came with the loss of humanity. By the point I met Corin, my only sins were intimacy out of wedlock and murder. She told stories of what the humans are like and the mistakes they make. She grew up in a different time than I did. To her, almost all the things that were a sin in my time were common occurrences. She lived past being dead. She felt alive.

Imagine being old enough to know better but young enough to not give a shit. I went through this phase where I was so bored with my own life that I took matters into my own hands and went out there to find something that would pique my interest. I've never asked Aro for anything until this and he granted me the freedom of going out to look for something I enjoyed.

I didn't find what I was looking for but on the way, I found alcohol, drugs, and all the other vices that form a truly vile person. It felt, and still to this day feels, like a choice. I chose who I wanted to be. I was still pretty empty but I had all these other things now to make up for all the things I couldn't be. Women were another vice that I picked up along the way. They filled up my free time but after a few decades that desire died down. There was nothing more that enticed me. All that was left of my midlife crisis was the alcohol, gambling, drugs, indulgences and the ability to say I have seen everything that screwing around can offer. I went back to normal but with a new outlook on immortality. I realized that being dead meant that morals no longer apply. This part of our existence has no judgment, no sin, no limits and no looking back. This knowledge opened more doors than I could count, enough to keep you hanging on to your existence, even after millennia. I've discovered that there is appeal in depravity and dystopia.

My sister did not take well to my behavior at all. I guess some people are content with their existence. She puts up with me simply because we've been there for each other since our conception. Apart from her obvious sadistic tendencies, she is content. It might also have to do with the fact that she's always been such an over-achiever that staying Aro's favorite is enough to occupy her time. She and I are different in this sense. She creates a purpose for herself whilst I settle for simply being there. In all irony, despite what people believe, she is the good twin. She stayed the same Jane that I've known since birth. I, on the other hand, have strayed so far away from who I used to be that the only recollection of that time that ever comes to me is from my sister's stories.

I guess she's the only thing reminding me that I was once human and she reminds me often. Possibly from the fear that one-day I'll end up being a stranger to her. She already has a hard time recognizing me in comparison to who I used to be. It only takes step off the ledge to fall, and she fears that the smallest thing could mean a leap in the wrong direction for me.

**So, thats it for my first chapter ever. I hope you enjoyed it and please let me know if I should continue. **

**Allie**


	2. A very bad present

**A very bad present.**

For the past century at least, my normal days were so similar that I'd be lying if I told you I could distinguish between them. Even the extracurricular activities seemed to be the norm. Going everywhere the kings go becomes dreary. Even when we're not in Voltera, the places that we go to are limited, in the sense of creativity. The activities Jane and I would have to join the kings in were starting to become unbearably dull. Joining them on a night out generally meant we would go to the philharmonic, the theatre, balls hosted by our vampire friends or the opera. I don't know if it makes sense. Things seldom makes sense in the vampire world but to put it in plain wording: There is only a limited number of times that a person can watch 'La Boehme' without the aid of drugs.

Today, for example, was one of those days where we would be forced by circumstance to be social. Aro never passes up an occasion to check on his empire, hence the fact that no invitation goes un-RSVP'd. The Russians have invited us to their annual gathering. It was the biggest event on their calendar, held on Russian New Years. It was one of those functions where you attend mainly to exhibit your rank and social status. The white mink coat my sister is wearing is an example of the show-off nature of the party. It's ridiculous, floor length and very unnecessary, but looking around, she wasn't the only one. All the women were decked out in furs, jewels and couture. If for a brief second you forget where you are and look around, it feels like hunting season is on.

The coven leaders are showing off their new acquisitions, gifted newborns, as they would show prizewinner horses. That's why Corin. Heidi, Dimitri, Renata, Jane and I are here. We're the equivalent of the Munch painting that you display in your living room; the showpiece that you always point out is in your possession. All the covens were here apart from the vegetarian ones. I guess their humanitarian sensibilities couldn't stomach the kind of things that happen at these get-togethers. Considering how our species has evolved culturally, we are still primitive when it comes to what's right and wrong. The things we do when we're all in one building could rival the most shocking and sickening of stories.

Tonight was also the one time that most of the eastern covens came out of hiding, like the Siberian Creed, a gifted coven of over twenty. Their arrival was awaited in anticipation as they came down on the Trans Siberian. I've created two of the vampires in their ranks, Tatyana and Anya; a small slip up during a very drunken night out in Stalingrad. They were just kids trying to have fun and by some act of fate, they landed at my table in that shitty excuse of a bar. Nonetheless, despite all my intoxication, I was fair and turned both sisters. The only other favor I did them was letting them not join the Volturi. You see, as a vampire you have a sense of loyalty towards your maker. As much as I hate to admit loyalty to anyone, apart from Jane, both her and, I do feel a sense of loyalty to Aro. If I wanted to I could make them join the guard but at the end of the day why bother? They're hardheaded, stubborn and crazy. I'm trying so hard to get out of being in Voltera constantly; forcing them to join would be hypocritical. Letting them go on their own made them hate me less and in moments like this, where just being here is a chore, their company is a good distraction.

I see their coven arrived and were seated. Their table was directly at my 1 o'clock and by the discreet nod in my direction I can tell they noticed I'm here. Good. Their presence here meant that I had an excuse to retreat from our table. As much as I enjoy my sister's company and that of the other guard members, I need some time away from the people I see on a regular basis. I'll inconspicuously leave our group, but not until after the show.

The venue is, most likely, more to my taste than that of the others. Its name, 'The Red Samovar', is fitting, with dim red lights and tsarist décor. It feels like a good fusion of old and new, innocent and depraved. Or that might just be the red lighting. The show is beginning and as always it's something related to the culture of the host coven. They have ballerinas and acrobats, performing on a soundtrack of remixed Old Russian folk songs. This is what comic relief looks like in the immortal world. We'll show you something pretty that'll entertain you before the bloodbath starts. Hey, at least you die with a smile on your face.

The real attraction of the night is the auction. The Russians always host an auction and this makes them different from other covens in the world. They auction off humans. Basically, they found pretty words for human trafficking. When they fish for their food, if they find a human worth keeping, they keep it around until their next auction and sell it off to the highest bidder as a pet. They're humans with the potential of a gift but not turned yet. In Russian vampire culture, it doesn't matter how gifted you might be as a human, you need to earn your immortality. You need to prove yourself to your master before you're turned, _if_ you're turned.

Pets are exactly what they sound like. Some say that they're courtesans whilst others say they're just glorified prostitutes. There are many different ways to keep a pet. It could be a live donor. If you're particularly fond of a certain blood type, or a specific aroma of blood, take the human as a live donor to feed on whenever you please. The glorified prostitute insult didn't just spring up from nowhere. That is another reason to take a pet. It's like having a live in whore. From what I hear, after a while they loose all the fight left in them and become obedient. In some cases, the fight that's in them is the reason why they get bought. Some men are simply into making a persona submit to the point where they're not even a person anymore. It's amazing the things that some are willing to do just because they can. From an outsiders point of view I can imagine it sounds sick but you got to understand that after years and years of being around, you reach a point where you don't give a shit about what's acceptable and not acceptable; what's right and wrong. Of course there are the few rare cases in which a pet is merely used for company. Their sole purpose is to be around when you feel alone. Those are very rare and almost never seen in public. The pets you see most often are those of sadists and megalomaniacs, showing off their power over a helpless creature like it's a fucking trophy. And with the last sentence I just described 98.8% of the vampire population.

I've never had a pet and I have no intention in having one either.

It's not that I don't agree with the custom. You would have to find something really fucked up for me to show disapproval. I just don't know what to do with one. Blood is readily available, bottled or fresh, from any person of your choice. I don't need a sexual plaything, easy women are a given of the 21st century. I'm don't have mommy issues or a hatred for women like the men who buy a pet just to have someone to hurt. I just didn't need a pet, and I don't think I'll ever need one. It's a responsibility I'm not willing to take on. These playthings become and extension of yourself in public. The smallest mistake on their part reflects badly on you. They need to be disciplined. They need to be clothed, fed and to some extent taken care of. They're a bother. I like my life the way it is and frankly I can barely stand the people I have to deal with; choosing to have someone around is simply not going to happen. I just can't be bothered with the effort of it.

The auction started. Right now there's a young boy on auction. He's probably around eleven years old, blonde, and, from what I can tell, green eyes. An older vampire gentleman is bidding on him. He wins the boy at £50.000. That kid's going to have a rude awakening to the different types of sexual identity that exist in the world and certainly the word 'pedophilia'. The auction continues with about twenty or so boys and girls of different ages until they reach the last item on the list. The last position is generally reserved for the cherry that tops the sundae. In this case it's a girl. From what I can tell she looks young but that could be due to the fact that she's fresh-faced. I'll take a gamble and assume she's aged somewhere between fifteen and seventeen. The auction started at £100.000, which is a pretty big starting price for a basic human. She doesn't look exotic, maybe Balkan, with dark hair and blue eyes.

I snap out of my musings by what happened next. If the starting price didn't add shock value to the moment, Aro's bid certainly did. Everyone at our table started glancing at each other. Someone bid against him and he just kept bidding higher. I don't know why everyone was so shocked by it in the end. Aro was playing his usual games. He, as always, wanted to add to his gifted elite. The motive is not really new or unpredictable, what's odd is the way he's going about things. He would generally let the others bid amongst them and then buy the human privately at the end of the night. Now that he bid publicly, he would have to win fair and square, and honestly, it didn't seem like he was intending to loose the auction. They closed at a little over £1million. The auction was done and people were whispering left and right over what just happened. Aro taps his glass with a fork and gets up to hold a toast. We all grab our glasses and wait for the speech to be done so we can drink and then mingle. The leader of the Russian coven straightens his back knowing that the toast is addressed at him.

"Feodor, your get-togethers are always simply exquisite. I am so very pleased to see so many friends in one room. The show and the auction were brilliant. Only you could manage to put together such an extravagant indulgence for the senses." Feodor is smiling so widely that I'm pretty sure his face might crack in half.

"As many of you may have noticed, this year I participated in the bidding. It was all so appealing that I couldn't help myself. So, to creep into the second point of my toast, I would like to offer that exquisite little creature I just bought as a birthday present of sorts." Most likely, the gift is for the Russian coven, or maybe the Siberian Creed, as a sign of friendship. This is like on of those presents that the people you hate give you, like a puppy. It looks like a present but, at the end of the day, it's a responsibility you didn't want.

"Happy Birthday Alec!"

Ha ha, what?

**Let me know what you think, what you like, dislike, or if you have any questions, feel free to use reviews section**

**Allie**


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